Enough already

Enough already

I had so much happen last year. Really good and really bad. Why is this year starting the fuckin same.

I really try to stay more on the positive side of things these days. I’m working out, I’m creating music and art, I’m trying to stay focused. I swear to God, when you are in a roll doing really good some real shits going to fall in your lap.

I lost another aunt yesterday. I lost an aunt and my grandfather last year. Had some domestic abuse issues with family members. I did my first mural last year though

Today I find out that I may have to go to court because of people not wanting to listen to my like I don’t know what the fuck I’m talkin about. Now I have to be part of the bullshit I tried to stay away from.

I love my mom, but she runs from shit and it ends up in my hands and pisses me off. I really pissed at this moment! FUCK!!!!!! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

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I don’t fuck with it 

I don’t fuck with it 

A lot of people have told me to pay attention to media and news to know what’s going on around me. Well, I’m not sure I can agree with that. If it’s not helping me, and I can’t do shit about it, I’m going to “mind or take care of” my own business. This is my growing period and I have to focus on what’s going to empower me. You don’t have to go with everything everyone else says. “Know thyself” -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Going to hell?

Going to hell?

I have a lot of things to say about telling someone they’re going to hell. Mind your business so you can do something with your life. 

When I cussed for the first  time I was like, “God forgive me. I don’t want to go to hell” (I think I was like 8)

I just think differently about the heaven hell situation. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Dear Life

Dear Life

Dear Life,I thought you’d be more kind, more loving, more giving. I’ve given my health, my money, my energy, my smiles, my comfort, my time, my creativity. I’ve tried to give you the best part of me, but that got me here, at a crossroad. 

 I think I’ve been here before. Maybe I’ve been here for years and never left. Maybe when I got here I set up camp and chose to stay. Afraid of choosing the left or right. The red or blue. Both so extreme. Both so different. Both me. One safe and predictable. The other risky and unforeseeable, but intriguing. 

I’ve already chosen. I chose my destiny a long time ago. Even when my parents drilled their ideals, I’ve always had my own. 

So Life, now that you’ve awakened the dragon inside and I realized the shit I’m go through is just part of the ride, let’s do this shit. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

He’s the Eulogist 

He’s the Eulogist 

The funeral starts at eleven. He’s the eulogist. I hope he doesn’t start crying because it probably won’t be real. I feel like he should’ve left this alone. Let someone else do it. Maybe I’m wrong. I’m probably right. 

My dad was close to my aunt I guess, but there were others that were closer. They are family and they weren’t even acknowledged. That makes me mad. He always has to make a scene. He’s selfish and manipulative even now. 

It’s crazy how death can bring people together and push people further apart. I was able to see my grandparents who I cherish, but I realize that my father and I may never have what I always dreamed of. –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter 

Was having a good Morning until…

Was having a good Morning until…

He called Got damnit. I don’t have the time, energy or patience to deal with his fuckery. I’ve tried to many times with him and I can’t right now. I don’t want to. He stresses me the fuck out. He’s not a father he’s a leach that sucks you dry from life until you can’t even function. 

I haven’t listened to the voicemail yet. I don’t even know how the fuck he got my damn number. My siblings said they didn’t give it to him.  Who the hell did???? Nobody has my number! 

This is some bullshit. I better write and create some art before I let this consume me today. Look ignorant ass people… don’t give out people’s numbers without their consent got damnit! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter