The time went back this week.
But I’m wondering if I should fall back from people. I wonder if people are tired of me. Tired of looking at my photos of my painted self. Or all the motivational videos I post, or music because I’m trying to keep myself in line and possibly help someone.
Tired of me talking on my podcast about my fucked up day or how lit I got. Tired of my conversations. People say they won’t tire of you, and maybe I should go with that. Believe them. But how? I don’t trust people easy cuz I’ve been hurt a million times. I laid my heart out for it to be misused and I put it in a safe place. Apparently not safe enough, because I’m still loving people. SHIT! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
When you want something bad enough, you’ll start doing what other people would call “stupid shit”.
I guess I’ll take “stupid shit” over “died with nothing” any day. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
So much has happened. So much going on. So many fuckin thoughts so many damn dreams. So much more control. So much more creativity. See So much more clearly. So much more scary. So much more vocal. So much more visual. So much more available. So much less available. So much more valuable. So much more aware. So much weight loss. So much more caring, yet I care so much less. Damn so much. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
Over the past couple months. I’ve completely redirected my energy. I changed my life. For YEARS I’ve focused my attention on everyone else. What do they need? What do they like? What do they want? What do I have to give them?
My thoughts are in a whole other place right now. Not that I don’t want to do for people. But from now on… self first. Without self, how the hell can I help anyone else. If folk don’t understand… 🤷🏽♀️ -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I was taught to be proud of who I am
I was also taught to be ashamed of who I am -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
Why the fuck does a parent have to have a conversation with their black son about what to do when/if they are approached by an officer.
I don’t have kids yet, and I can’t imagine having to tell my son to have your hands where an officer can see them at all times. Don’t talk back. Give them what they want. WTF kind of society is this?
Just don’t get how black People are chosen to be shooting practice. This shit has to change! –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I feel stupid sometimes. Work hard, work hard, want to give up, bout give up, slow down, speed up. I’ve never given up, but sometimes I feel stupid trying to make up ways for exposure. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter