1,000,000 Thoughts

1,000,000 Thoughts

More deaths. Another sick. Job lost. Another deadbeat father. Bills due. Business expenses. I need to make money. Hate groups rising. Rent will be due again soon. Trump. This book needs to be finished. My brain is tired. Facebook posts of sadness, deaths, anger and cruelty… Food. A recipe with meat in it… I’ll pass.

Shit. My mind needs a break. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

The Universe is talking

The Universe is talking

In the past month weeks I’ve heard of several deaths and illnesses from friends and family.   Yesterday 1 and today another. I feel like the universe is telling me something. It’s an overwhelming feeling. I need to write. I need to write NOW. This book needs to be released and “he” needs to read it. 

Found out he got married a couple days ago. After so many woman he’s been engaged to and left, he finally did it. I doubt that he’s a changed man, but maybe she can soften him up to read it or she can read it to him every night as a bedtime story.  -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

It’s getting scary

It’s getting scary

It’s really getting scary these days. I’m looking at a lot people around me experience their parents pass away. Their children are going to grow up without living grandparents. The ones who’s parents haven’t passed, they have illnesses. It’s so sad. 

I’ve felt that the only way I can talk to my father is after he reads my book. I feel really strongly about that. It’s just hard as hell to write it. When I write about my life, I relive EVERY detail. It takes me to a dark place. I feel like I have to stay away from everyone. I don’t want to bring anyone into my black hole. It’s damn near depression. 

BUT…      If something happened to him, and I didn’t finish this book for him to at least attempt to read it… no words…

I have to finish it. With no money and no encouragement. Just the one last hope of my father knowing how I really feel. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter