With tears rolling down my face I write this

With tears rolling down my face I write this

With tears rolling down my face I write this. I hate feeling like this. I felt like this for so long and suppressed it all. Now it resurfaces. When things are taking a turn.

Really I stay positive. Im happy that I’m free. But there’s still that part of me that wants love. Love without all the bullshit. Love of someone not just because they think I’m pretty, but someone in love with me.

I want to point blame, I want to just cry it out. But I’m trying to stay positive. This is my last day in Texas, been here for 3 weeks and I’m ready to go, but hesitant. Just not sure how life will play out and that can be hard.

The only thing I can do is claim true love and happiness and greatness and money. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

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Do it again

Do it again

Can I get a got damn do over for the beginning of 2019?

It rolled in with my mom feeling some type of way… my sister feeling some type of way, me in the middle, making me feel some type of way. Watching my mom limp around doesn’t fuckin help.

I’m always thinking about everyone else. When I finally think about myself, no one’s use to it, and I’m being selfish or bossy.

I’m not gonna deal with this shit this year. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Awakened Beast 2019

Awakened Beast 2019

I never thought this would be my life, but I’m embracing it. All of it. All the decisions I’ve made that have helped me grow. I shouldn’t regret anything because it’s created this beast of a woman. This Wonder Super woman that’s about to finally reveal her super powers. This flower that bloomed last but is most beautiful most lovely scented.

I am great. I know I am. And showing myself can help inspire others. I have a damn story to tell, And you probably need to hear it -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Going through my head

Going through my head

With so much going through my head, I say less. I try to stay away from people even though I’m right in front of everyone. I hide in plain sight. People can’t know my feelings. Can’t know my thoughts. Can’t see my pain. I’m strong enough to hide it and keep it hidden until I deal with it. Until it’s passed.

It’s always been that way, that’s why the closest people to me have never known anything I’ve experienced. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Damn so much

Damn so much

So much has happened. So much going on. So many fuckin thoughts so many damn dreams. So much more control. So much more creativity. See So much more clearly. So much more scary. So much more vocal. So much more visual. So much more available. So much less available. So much more valuable. So much more aware. So much weight loss. So much more caring, yet I care so much less. Damn so much. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter