There’s a lot running through my had, so I had to pause on social media. I stopped with my IG’s for a little bit to reroute my attention. My attention was on making sure I stayed relevant and keeping up with the algorithm, which I don’t even know if I do that shit anyway.
I had to PAUSE. I’m relocating and I need to focus on myself and my own needs, so I came back to writing. I guess this is somewhat anonymous, so keeps me from thinking about opinions. YEP. Even after all these years, that’s still some shit I think about. The opinions of others who have nothing to do with my progress.
My moving forward has been mistaken for “running” and it was not. When you try to fix something repeatedly, and you’re miserable, how long do you have to stay in that? The changes I’ve made have all been for the good. But now I want to concentrate on ME and MY SUCCESS!
This is why I’ve had to PAUSE, but writing and letting out these feelings is important, so I started journaling on here again, and my podcast. In the words of Drake “WE GONE SEE” -#RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
Sometimes often I feel like the entire universe is on my shoulders and I’m carrying it but it hurts and I’m tired
Sometimes often I feel like the dreams I’m running after are right in front of me. They’re almost in reach yet when I speed up to grab it, my dreams speed up to make me run harder 😩
Sometimes often I feel alone. I feel like few people understand me, yet many are inspired by my journey… how does that work?
Sometimes often I feel like the most creative person in the world, yet don’t know how THEE FUCK to show more than the 1400 people who follow me on all my IG accounts.
Sometimes often I feel so at peace because God constantly sends signs and I’m seeing them. They bring me comfort and joy. They make me feel like God sees and knows and hears and he wants me to succeed more than I do.
Sometimes often I feel like I’ve been building this empire for 20 years and just now finishing the framework. I’m ready to move in though! I’ve had this vision for so long. I’ve been the architect, project manager, builder, interior designer, landscaper, EVERYTHING! What is it that I need to do to finally move in??? I can upgrade later damnit! I’m ready
First of all, what part of me is weird? The fact that I make voices because I want to do voice overs? Or maybe it’s that I paint myself because I was tired of painting walls, bottles, paper, canvases… I needed a new challenge.
Or maybe it’s because I sing, rap and record myself because I’m too shy to be in a studio (I remind me of Missy Elliot 💚) or maybe it’s because I believe the hawk is my spirit animal.
Or maybe it’s because I’m grown and like cartoons and Star Wars… sounds like I’m not boring! And maybe you are… so I’m feeling like I’ll just be your entertainment, so watch me on phone – #RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I’m always thinking. And that’s not always good cuz I allow my thoughts to collide with fear… then overthinking and worry happens.
At that moment… that very damn moment… The moment of worry, snap your mind out of it and into subjection of your true desires. What you really want in life. DO NOT THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT. Focus on your desires and your happiness.
Let go of everything and everyone who brings disharmony to your well being. They aren’t meant to be there. So it’s ok to let go. Throw them got damn shoes away that you just have because of how they use to look on you. That person who talks shit to you all the time and just wants to use you… walk THEEEEE FUCK AWAY IMMEDIATELY. No time to play games with fake ass, mediocre, sometimey, fickle people. –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
This is a new year with a new vision. Do not keep waiting for people or circumstances to fucking change before you can get your ass up and do something with your life! Love yourself enough to walk away from shit that no longer suits you… that shit will hurt, but the pain is temporary. Results will be greater self awareness and self love which will impact your future and those around you.
Some people will just fall away… and if it fuckin falls away and you know it’s not for you… don’t fuckin chase them.
Do what YOU need to do and don’t worry about the next person and their bull shit. Keep moving forward with your agenda and don’t make no GOT DAMN EXCUSES! Get that shit Done ✅-RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I been fuckin silent
I been fuckin patient
I been fuckin cooperative
And I neglected my own interest
But I shall no longer be fuckin silent
I shall no longer be fuckin patient
I shall no longer be fuckin cooperative
I shall look out for my own interest and be the fuckin beast I know I was born to be.
Fuck the Bullshit- RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
If you’ve been reading my blog, a lot has happened over the years. I’ve had an interesting life as do many people. What separates me from most is that I’ve been through so much shit, that I’m determined to change my life. I’ve made adjustments gradually, but I’ve been more focused on people feelings than what I really needed. That’s the first problem.
When you focus on what everyone else needs versus your own, what do you think will happen? You think you’ll be happy? You think you’ll accomplish your goals? Well unless you trying to be someone’s crutch or burden for the rest of your life, you need to focus on yourself. One step at a time at first, but Figure the shit out! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
Who’s the best at life ?
Who can show me how to live my life in the best way possible… With only love, unicorns, rainbows, hearts, flowers, trees, sweet juices fruits, the ocean, the breeze, sand between my toes, the sunrise and sunset, traveling to exotic lands and wearing a 2 piece bikini showing off my goddess body?
I’m just thinking -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
Win. Ok, just fuckin win. Stop Overthinking, overanalyzing, tryin to be perfect… and all that shit. You just need to do what the fuck is necessary to win. It may not always be easy. You may seem like you’re not always putting your “best” out there, but just get it out.
I’ve hidden my talents and personality for years. For fuckin what?!?!?! So people wouldn’t criticize? People will talk shit regardless. I have family that hate me for absolutely no damn reason. People will always be evil. People will always judge, so you mine as well gone head and be yourself. Let the real you out and whoever drops off, let them folk GO GOT DAMNIT!!! Don’t give it Energy! Keep moving your ass!! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter