Don’t know what’s wrong

Don’t know what’s wrong

All of a sudden I start feeling weird and I don’t know why. I’m overwhelmed with thoughts of my friends parents who are no longer living, or who are very sick.

I have both of my parents, but I only talk to one. My father ruins my life when he’s in it. So I can’t let him in.

I started reliving one instance. My mom was pregnant with my little brother and my I remember him fighting her.

Why am I seeing this again

I was nine. My other brother was 5.

I didn’t know what to do…. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

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Feeling sorry for myself?

Feeling sorry for myself?

When I tell people how I feel, I get “stop feeling sorry for yourself”

If I’m saying that something is bothering me and I’m sad about it, I’m not fucking feeling sorry for myself. No matter how strong I am and how much strength people see, I’m still a woman. I’m still a human. I have fucking feelings. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

If it applies

If it applies

People don’t get it. You don’t get it. I am not you. I will never be you. I don’t want to be you. I wasn’t created to be who you want me to be. I’m not suppose to please you. I’m not here to make you happy. I’m not here to caress your ego. I don’t care about your feelings. Fuck your feelings. You’re not that important to me, that I have to explain every got damn thing I do. I don’t even know you. My life is mine and mine alone. What you like, love, care about, has nothing to do with me. Why do you think you can pick apart my actions for your pleasure and think I should fuckin listen. You can’t even attempt to walk in my shoes… I know you be thinking this shit too -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Convo with a stranger

Convo with a stranger

I went to an event last night. Spoke to some people about my art and skin care. Had a couple embarrassing moments and always try to remember it’s all part of the process.

At the end of the night I started having a conversation with a stranger. It was a friend of another artist. We went from talking about music, to the “church life”. The life of staying in this Christian box with other Christian people so you can recruit people who are not Christian to live in this box 🔲 with you… 🙄

That sounds ridiculous. It’s not everyone, but it’s a lot of them (Christian folk). –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Beginning Again

Beginning Again

I’ve always tried to keep my business to myself. When I struggle, no one knows. That’s kinda how I was raised. It’s been natural to me. What’s also been natural is getting sick because I kept, and still keep, so much in. Trying to protect people or whatever, but what about me.

I realized that no one cares about my feeling. I’m just suppose to cater to what everybody else has going on. Fuck my feelings right. Well I don’t appreciate that shit. There’s only so much a person can take before they either go off or leave your ass alone.

Soooooooo…. I’m writing again. I understand that some people won’t be able to associate with my ass no more, but I’m good by myself anyway. ✌🏽 –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter