Sometimes often I feel like the entire universe is on my shoulders and I’m carrying it but it hurts and I’m tired
Sometimes often I feel like the dreams I’m running after are right in front of me. They’re almost in reach yet when I speed up to grab it, my dreams speed up to make me run harder 😩
Sometimes often I feel alone. I feel like few people understand me, yet many are inspired by my journey… how does that work?
Sometimes often I feel like the most creative person in the world, yet don’t know how THEE FUCK to show more than the 1400 people who follow me on all my IG accounts.
Sometimes often I feel so at peace because God constantly sends signs and I’m seeing them. They bring me comfort and joy. They make me feel like God sees and knows and hears and he wants me to succeed more than I do.
Sometimes often I feel like I’ve been building this empire for 20 years and just now finishing the framework. I’m ready to move in though! I’ve had this vision for so long. I’ve been the architect, project manager, builder, interior designer, landscaper, EVERYTHING! What is it that I need to do to finally move in??? I can upgrade later damnit! I’m ready
My time in Texas is coming to an end. I have Monday and Tuesday left. It’s been a good eye opening trip. Been here since Dec. 18th.
I got a chance to get outside of my normal routine to change it up. See my life from a different perspective. I’ve grown in these three weeks. I’ve read and absorbed and rejected unnecessary things. I’m better and stronger than I was when I first got here. I know what I want and I’m gonna get it. –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
The time went back this week.
But I’m wondering if I should fall back from people. I wonder if people are tired of me. Tired of looking at my photos of my painted self. Or all the motivational videos I post, or music because I’m trying to keep myself in line and possibly help someone.
Tired of me talking on my podcast about my fucked up day or how lit I got. Tired of my conversations. People say they won’t tire of you, and maybe I should go with that. Believe them. But how? I don’t trust people easy cuz I’ve been hurt a million times. I laid my heart out for it to be misused and I put it in a safe place. Apparently not safe enough, because I’m still loving people. SHIT! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
When you want something bad enough, you’ll start doing what other people would call “stupid shit”.
I guess I’ll take “stupid shit” over “died with nothing” any day. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I was taught to be proud of who I am
I was also taught to be ashamed of who I am -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I live on the other side of the universe. The part not yet discovered –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I want to have a conversation with my dad… after he reads the book… after I write the book and send it to him.
I hope he can talk and not start hollering and cussing so I don’t have to start hollering and cussing –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
People don’t get it. You don’t get it. I am not you. I will never be you. I don’t want to be you. I wasn’t created to be who you want me to be. I’m not suppose to please you. I’m not here to make you happy. I’m not here to caress your ego. I don’t care about your feelings. Fuck your feelings. You’re not that important to me, that I have to explain every got damn thing I do. I don’t even know you. My life is mine and mine alone. What you like, love, care about, has nothing to do with me. Why do you think you can pick apart my actions for your pleasure and think I should fuckin listen. You can’t even attempt to walk in my shoes… I know you be thinking this shit too -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
Are The children created as a result of love different than children created as a result of necessity or lust? Because I’m not a product of love. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
Sometimes I feel invisible. So invisible that even when I reach out to people, they don’t reach back. They can’t see me.
Then I go deeper into hiding. –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter