Feeling sorry for myself?

Feeling sorry for myself?

When I tell people how I feel, I get “stop feeling sorry for yourself”

If I’m saying that something is bothering me and I’m sad about it, I’m not fucking feeling sorry for myself. No matter how strong I am and how much strength people see, I’m still a woman. I’m still a human. I have fucking feelings. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

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If it applies

If it applies

People don’t get it. You don’t get it. I am not you. I will never be you. I don’t want to be you. I wasn’t created to be who you want me to be. I’m not suppose to please you. I’m not here to make you happy. I’m not here to caress your ego. I don’t care about your feelings. Fuck your feelings. You’re not that important to me, that I have to explain every got damn thing I do. I don’t even know you. My life is mine and mine alone. What you like, love, care about, has nothing to do with me. Why do you think you can pick apart my actions for your pleasure and think I should fuckin listen. You can’t even attempt to walk in my shoes… I know you be thinking this shit too -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Beginning Again

Beginning Again

I’ve always tried to keep my business to myself. When I struggle, no one knows. That’s kinda how I was raised. It’s been natural to me. What’s also been natural is getting sick because I kept, and still keep, so much in. Trying to protect people or whatever, but what about me.

I realized that no one cares about my feeling. I’m just suppose to cater to what everybody else has going on. Fuck my feelings right. Well I don’t appreciate that shit. There’s only so much a person can take before they either go off or leave your ass alone.

Soooooooo…. I’m writing again. I understand that some people won’t be able to associate with my ass no more, but I’m good by myself anyway. ✌🏽 –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

WHY Won’t I Finish It

WHY Won’t I Finish It

I’ve been thinking about finishing this book waaaayyyy to much lately. It won’t go away. Out of nowhere, I’ll think about something that’s happened with all the details. Feeling those extreme emotions again. It makes me so damn emotional. When I get in my feelings, I function differently. I had to warn my husband that I started writing again so he will know what’s going on with me.

I’ve written some, but I’m scared to feel that vulnerable again. I feel like I have to steer clear of everyone when I start writing so I won’t make anyone uncomfortable, but maybe this time will be different.

I started writing this damn book in 2015, so it’s been 2 years about the amount of time that’s passed since I last spoke to him. There’s so much he doesn’t know about me. He doesn’t even  know who I am. This book would be the only way he would know more of who I really am, rather than the daughter he made up in his head. But that’s not the only reason.

Damnit this book!!!! Shit!!

-RealityOfAPreachersDaughter