If it applies

If it applies

People don’t get it. You don’t get it. I am not you. I will never be you. I don’t want to be you. I wasn’t created to be who you want me to be. I’m not suppose to please you. I’m not here to make you happy. I’m not here to caress your ego. I don’t care about your feelings. Fuck your feelings. You’re not that important to me, that I have to explain every got damn thing I do. I don’t even know you. My life is mine and mine alone. What you like, love, care about, has nothing to do with me. Why do you think you can pick apart my actions for your pleasure and think I should fuckin listen. You can’t even attempt to walk in my shoes… I know you be thinking this shit too -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

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1,000,000 Thoughts

1,000,000 Thoughts

More deaths. Another sick. Job lost. Another deadbeat father. Bills due. Business expenses. I need to make money. Hate groups rising. Rent will be due again soon. Trump. This book needs to be finished. My brain is tired. Facebook posts of sadness, deaths, anger and cruelty… Food. A recipe with meat in it… I’ll pass.

Shit. My mind needs a break. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Pic of dad

Pic of dad

I just saw a pic of my father and felt my heart drop. I know I talk shit about my dad, but he’s the one I’ve craved the love from. A daughter always wants to have her father hug and kiss on her and tell her how beautiful she is without feeling weird. 
Despite everything, I still love him. The truth is though… I can’t be around him. I love him better from a distance because he hurts me so bad. I’m not capable of having a healthy relationship with someone that is kind one minute and cussing me out and callin me a bitch the next. 

So as for right now… There is no relationship. I just dream about my dad taking care of his issues so he can be there when I have kids. If not, oh well. My Health and sanity is more important that satisfying his craving for starting shit.  –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Up and Left

Up and Left

You have anyone you cared about just up and leave? Their reasoning doesn’t make since, you can’t help them change their mind because they don’t want to hear anything against their decision. You just want to know why. You just want to tell them that they mean a lot and you wish they wouldn’t go. When they leave, you’re mad at them because you wish they would come back. I don’t know what else to say… #lost

RealityOfAPreachersDaughter