So much has happened. So much going on. So many fuckin thoughts so many damn dreams. So much more control. So much more creativity. See So much more clearly. So much more scary. So much more vocal. So much more visual. So much more available. So much less available. So much more valuable. So much more aware. So much weight loss. So much more caring, yet I care so much less. Damn so much. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I live on the other side of the universe. The part not yet discovered –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
My father’s birthday came and went.
I never forget his birthday… but I never call.
Happy Birthday -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
If what I want doesn’t exist,
I make it. –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
People don’t get it. You don’t get it. I am not you. I will never be you. I don’t want to be you. I wasn’t created to be who you want me to be. I’m not suppose to please you. I’m not here to make you happy. I’m not here to caress your ego. I don’t care about your feelings. Fuck your feelings. You’re not that important to me, that I have to explain every got damn thing I do. I don’t even know you. My life is mine and mine alone. What you like, love, care about, has nothing to do with me. Why do you think you can pick apart my actions for your pleasure and think I should fuckin listen. You can’t even attempt to walk in my shoes… I know you be thinking this shit too -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
Are The children created as a result of love different than children created as a result of necessity or lust? Because I’m not a product of love. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
More deaths. Another sick. Job lost. Another deadbeat father. Bills due. Business expenses. I need to make money. Hate groups rising. Rent will be due again soon. Trump. This book needs to be finished. My brain is tired. Facebook posts of sadness, deaths, anger and cruelty… Food. A recipe with meat in it… I’ll pass.
Shit. My mind needs a break. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
If you run from your problems, your problems will chase you. Deal with your shit! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I thought it would be forever, I guess forever is only temporary -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I just saw a pic of my father and felt my heart drop. I know I talk shit about my dad, but he’s the one I’ve craved the love from. A daughter always wants to have her father hug and kiss on her and tell her how beautiful she is without feeling weird.
Despite everything, I still love him. The truth is though… I can’t be around him. I love him better from a distance because he hurts me so bad. I’m not capable of having a healthy relationship with someone that is kind one minute and cussing me out and callin me a bitch the next.
So as for right now… There is no relationship. I just dream about my dad taking care of his issues so he can be there when I have kids. If not, oh well. My Health and sanity is more important that satisfying his craving for starting shit. –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter