With tears rolling down my face I write this. I hate feeling like this. I felt like this for so long and suppressed it all. Now it resurfaces. When things are taking a turn.
Really I stay positive. Im happy that I’m free. But there’s still that part of me that wants love. Love without all the bullshit. Love of someone not just because they think I’m pretty, but someone in love with me.
I want to point blame, I want to just cry it out. But I’m trying to stay positive. This is my last day in Texas, been here for 3 weeks and I’m ready to go, but hesitant. Just not sure how life will play out and that can be hard.
The only thing I can do is claim true love and happiness and greatness and money. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
My time in Texas is coming to an end. I have Monday and Tuesday left. It’s been a good eye opening trip. Been here since Dec. 18th.
I got a chance to get outside of my normal routine to change it up. See my life from a different perspective. I’ve grown in these three weeks. I’ve read and absorbed and rejected unnecessary things. I’m better and stronger than I was when I first got here. I know what I want and I’m gonna get it. –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
With so much going through my head, I say less. I try to stay away from people even though I’m right in front of everyone. I hide in plain sight. People can’t know my feelings. Can’t know my thoughts. Can’t see my pain. I’m strong enough to hide it and keep it hidden until I deal with it. Until it’s passed.
It’s always been that way, that’s why the closest people to me have never known anything I’ve experienced. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
When you want something bad enough, you’ll start doing what other people would call “stupid shit”.
I guess I’ll take “stupid shit” over “died with nothing” any day. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
Over the past couple months. I’ve completely redirected my energy. I changed my life. For YEARS I’ve focused my attention on everyone else. What do they need? What do they like? What do they want? What do I have to give them?
My thoughts are in a whole other place right now. Not that I don’t want to do for people. But from now on… self first. Without self, how the hell can I help anyone else. If folk don’t understand… 🤷🏽♀️ -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
Why the fuck does a parent have to have a conversation with their black son about what to do when/if they are approached by an officer.
I don’t have kids yet, and I can’t imagine having to tell my son to have your hands where an officer can see them at all times. Don’t talk back. Give them what they want. WTF kind of society is this?
Just don’t get how black People are chosen to be shooting practice. This shit has to change! –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I have to admit it’s damn near depressing seeing all this Happy Father’s Day stuff going on… I haven’t talked to my dad since my aunt died last year.
Care to know why? -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I want to have a conversation with my dad… after he reads the book… after I write the book and send it to him.
I hope he can talk and not start hollering and cussing so I don’t have to start hollering and cussing –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
My father’s birthday came and went.
I never forget his birthday… but I never call.
Happy Birthday -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I went to an event last night. Spoke to some people about my art and skin care. Had a couple embarrassing moments and always try to remember it’s all part of the process.
At the end of the night I started having a conversation with a stranger. It was a friend of another artist. We went from talking about music, to the “church life”. The life of staying in this Christian box with other Christian people so you can recruit people who are not Christian to live in this box 🔲 with you… 🙄
That sounds ridiculous. It’s not everyone, but it’s a lot of them (Christian folk). –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter