Because it reminds me of Him 

Because it reminds me of Him 

He used to have this in his house… I bought some, but I still can’t talk to him. I can’t let him hurt me again! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

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Thinkin about him… 

Thinkin about him… 

Yea I said it. I’ve been thinking about him lately. I wish our relationship would work out, but it takes two. I’ve been through too much shit with him to just let him in. Nah I don’t want to talk to him. Nah I don’t want to write him. I’ll just think about some good times and try not allow them to lead to bad ones… but they normally do. The good times never lasted. It always went from good to bad, sometimes before we left the damn driveway. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Wish it wasn’t you (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt #spoileralert)

Wish it wasn’t you (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt #spoileralert)

Sometimes I wish it wasn’t you that I talk about in my writings. I want to feel sorry for you sometimes and other times… I just don’t care. So I wrestle with myself about finishing this book. I’m not even sure you would read it. But I want you to understand me better. Why do I care? I guess this is my last hope of getting through to you, but then I think, I can’t change anyone… you have to want to change.

What’s the point of putting the book out if you’re not going to read it. Episode 13 of season 3 Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Kimmy realized she didn’t have to tell her story if she didn’t want to. Talking to the philosophy professor he basically tells her to do what makes her happy.  She didn’t need to feel like she needed to save the world. She just needed to do what was best for her… -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

“You’re dead to me”- #DrEricThomas

“You’re dead to me”- #DrEricThomas

I get it. “You’re dead to me” may seem harsh to some people, but to some of us, it’s the only way to be. Me and my father just can’t get along. I’ve tried over and over to make the relationship with him work, but he intentionally abuses that, and the fact that he’s a preacher. My aunt died last week and I had to talk to him for the first time in 2 years. It was awkward and disappointing. He doesn’t see anything he ever did and said we just need to let the past be the past and move on. Absolutely not! In order for us to have a relationship we will talk about what has happened, or I don’t see there ever being one. 

 Yes that may seem harsh, but if people knew what I’ve had to deal with when it came to him, then maybe they would understand. As for now, that relationship is dead to me. A person can only take so much heartbreak, abuse, lies and stabs. 

Was having a good Morning until…

Was having a good Morning until…

He called Got damnit. I don’t have the time, energy or patience to deal with his fuckery. I’ve tried to many times with him and I can’t right now. I don’t want to. He stresses me the fuck out. He’s not a father he’s a leach that sucks you dry from life until you can’t even function. 

I haven’t listened to the voicemail yet. I don’t even know how the fuck he got my damn number. My siblings said they didn’t give it to him.  Who the hell did???? Nobody has my number! 

This is some bullshit. I better write and create some art before I let this consume me today. Look ignorant ass people… don’t give out people’s numbers without their consent got damnit! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter