Bad Attention

Bad Attention

I wanted attention from him, but the kind I got wasn’t what I wanted. I needed him to be my father. To love me like he loved the other little pretty girls. 

I wondered why he didn’t care for me very much. Was it because I didn’t look like him? Was it because I was a girl? Was it because he resented my mother?  Was it because he thought I wasn’t his daughter?

I don’t know, but I could never allow my children to be treated like he treated us. Maybe that’s why I still don’t have any. –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Dumb Ass Decisions

Dumb Ass Decisions

I use to think I needed a psychiatrist to figure out why everyone around me made such dumb ass decisions. I didn’t understand everyone’s thinking and it had me almost going nuts. 

I backed off and realized that everyone’s shit wasn’t my shit. I needed to mind my own got damn business! Why? Because even though I really wanted the best for my family, I wasn’t giving my best to myself. I literally did everything for them. I was the savior of the family and everybody knew it. 

I’m so glad I sat my ass down and reevaluated the situation. Now I’m on the Road To Recovery lol

Lesson- Everyone makes their own mistakes and has to figure their own shit out.                     –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

B.O.N. ?

B.O.N. ?

Sometimes it’s hard as shit to write, but I know it’s what I have to do. Not only for myself, but for other people who are stuck in a life they despise. It’s hard to face the truth about yourself and share it with the world, or in my case, the couple people who follow my ass. 

Over all, In the past 8 years, I let myself go. I completely lost who I was and became who I felt others would be comfortable with. I’d rather be that neutral, “she’s nice” girl than the one that’s most loved/most hated. 

But even being the “nice and neutral” girl, people still don’t like my ass and I’m miserable. There’s other people out there too hiding so they can fit in too. 

When I was a kid, I didn’t fit in and didn’t give a damn. Something happened in my life that changed everything. Made me become a hermit and boring. What was it?  -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Face the shit

Face the shit

I’ve avoided writing about my life because the shits still hurts really bad and sometimes I’d rather not deal with all the strong emotions. Opinions like to fly around to discourage the book, but it is what it is. There comes a time where you have to step the fuck up no matter what happens and face your truth. No matter how dirty it is. 

And everyone’s expression is different, so judge me if you want to. -ROAPD

How to #WIN at #life

How to #WIN at #life

Do you want to know the secret at winning at life?

I don’t think there is a damn secret other than doing your best and stop being afraid to do what you need to do to be successful. 

I’ve listened to hours of speakers who motivate, encourage, inspire, give valuable tips… but

WORDS DONT MEAN SHIT WITHOUT ACTION!

-ROAPD (Reality Of A Preachers Daughter)

What’s in your hands

What’s in your hands

Sometimes, no 98% of the time I have to encourage and motivate myself. This time is no different. When you have bills due and you’re wondering where the money is coming from and you’re doing everything possible…. think “What’s in my hands”. 

What do you have to offer the world. If you haven’t been thinking about it, you probably won’t realize it, but everything you need for the moment you’re living in is within your reach…

Sometimes you just have to look harder

Imperfectly Perfect

Imperfectly Perfect

“Imperfectly Perfect”

I’ve struggled over the years with Perfection. I couldn’t do it if it wasn’t planned out. I couldn’t show it if it had flaws. That’s why there are very few pics of me and even though I’ve been an artist for over 20 years, I never showed my work or considered myself an “artist”. I’ve never been good enough for myself. Only within the past 2 years have I been easing out of my shell I’ve been hiding in until I was “Perfect”.

I realized something when creating this lamp, because I wanted it “flawless”. No matter how hard you work at being perfect, you could never achieve Perfection in the way you think. You are perfect the way you are. That’s what makes us human and not robots.

The lamp has flaws and so do I, but we are still beautiful.

We are “Imperfectly Perfect”

December 2, 2016

Take care of Yourself

Take care of Yourself

This has been a hard past couple of days. I don’t remember being sick for this long. Especially and not being able to function. Lost 5 lbs in 3 days. Couldn’t eat or drink… I feel like God was trying to get my attention and He did because I felt like I was on my death bed. I’m not ready to die. 
I was thinking about what really matters. Hard work is necessary to get what you want, but in a practical way. Also, you can only do what you can do. I can’t be everyone’s WonderWoman. Your number one priority is YOURSELF because if you don’t take care of yourself, how can you help someone else?

 

Pic of dad

Pic of dad

I just saw a pic of my father and felt my heart drop. I know I talk shit about my dad, but he’s the one I’ve craved the love from. A daughter always wants to have her father hug and kiss on her and tell her how beautiful she is without feeling weird. 
Despite everything, I still love him. The truth is though… I can’t be around him. I love him better from a distance because he hurts me so bad. I’m not capable of having a healthy relationship with someone that is kind one minute and cussing me out and callin me a bitch the next. 

So as for right now… There is no relationship. I just dream about my dad taking care of his issues so he can be there when I have kids. If not, oh well. My Health and sanity is more important that satisfying his craving for starting shit.  –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter