I’ve avoided writing about my life because the shits still hurts really bad and sometimes I’d rather not deal with all the strong emotions. Opinions like to fly around to discourage the book, but it is what it is. There comes a time where you have to step the fuck up no matter what happens and face your truth. No matter how dirty it is.
And everyone’s expression is different, so judge me if you want to. -ROAPD
Yesterday I was reminded what my potential is. My life isn’t what I see, because this isn’t what I want and isn’t what I’m working for. I’ve been scared to finish the book and post my music because what people will think… But out of the 300 friends that I have on Facebook. 30 people probably actually read the posts and 2-8 people “like” it. So why should I care. It’s a mistake to care so much about what People think. It holds us back from our true selves. The person who can really make a difference.
Make mistakes. At least you’re trying. If it’s a mistake for me to be a business owner, preacher’s daughter, artist, older sister, wife and spill my life like this… I guess it is what it is. I will be successful anyway.
My work is my life. My skincare line is my life. My art is my life. Writing is my life. These things balance me because I can be creative in different ways and I will use what I have to achieve the level of success I’m reaching for. Made a mistake and told someone what I’m striving for and they shot it all down. That’s why I keep my thoughts to myself. No one lives in my shoes and can do what I can because we are all different with different goals.
Nothing about writing my life is easy. It’s been complicated for as long as I can remember.
Last year I decided to take charge of my life. I couldn’t take the constant struggle of dealing with family EVERYDAY. I have enough to deal with by myself, I don’t need added frustration.
Before you can help someone else, YOU HAVE TO HELP YOURSELF. It’s not selfish, it’s how to achieve a successful life. -Reality of a Preacher’s Daughter
We consume our lives with stress that’s not even our own. We can’t control everyone else’s lives and the decisions that they make. That is something I’ve taken responsibility for most of my life, other people’s lives. I felt that I could save the world, looking at families choices and saying that’s not a good idea. It’s difficult when you can see potential in the person and they do something else stupid… You want to cuss them out and say that was “dumb as hell”. I’ve had enough of that. I’m tired of giving advice and people do the opposite and want me to bail them out.
LEAVE ME ALONE
I have never had people concerned about my wellbeing. Are you ok? Do you need anything? You’re not feeling good, Let me bring you some soup. It’s always only been about everyone else. You will find out more in the book.
I’m editing my own book, so I can tell you right now, there will be grammatical errors, cussing, and a lot of things you wouldn’t think would be in a book called “Reality Of A Preacher’s Daughter”… but it is what it is. It’s my life and my life wasn’t sugar coated, so I’m not sugar coating what I write.
My book will be done before the summer. Flaws and all…
You ever been so concerned with details that you can’t get shit done. I’m not making excuses, but I don’t have any one to talk to, no one to give me business advice, no one pushing me to keep going, so this is all me. My way to converse is writing, whether I’m writing music or my book.
So my life… I feel like there’s always so much to do and I don’t know what to do first. My focus is my book, my art and my skincare. Overall, I need to get these bills paid. There is always a bill coming out right after they are paid. I’m pretty good with money, but unfortunately there were some setbacks. I read in most peoples success stories where they maxed out credit cards, cars repossessed, late on rent, eating the minimum… so I don’t feel sorry for myself. I just need to know where to go from here.