Sometimes, no 98% of the time I have to encourage and motivate myself. This time is no different. When you have bills due and you’re wondering where the money is coming from and you’re doing everything possible…. think “What’s in my hands”.
What do you have to offer the world. If you haven’t been thinking about it, you probably won’t realize it, but everything you need for the moment you’re living in is within your reach…
Sometimes you just have to look harder
“Imperfectly Perfect”
I’ve struggled over the years with Perfection. I couldn’t do it if it wasn’t planned out. I couldn’t show it if it had flaws. That’s why there are very few pics of me and even though I’ve been an artist for over 20 years, I never showed my work or considered myself an “artist”. I’ve never been good enough for myself. Only within the past 2 years have I been easing out of my shell I’ve been hiding in until I was “Perfect”.
I realized something when creating this lamp, because I wanted it “flawless”. No matter how hard you work at being perfect, you could never achieve Perfection in the way you think. You are perfect the way you are. That’s what makes us human and not robots.
The lamp has flaws and so do I, but we are still beautiful.
We are “Imperfectly Perfect”
December 2, 2016
Sometimes I just don’t know if I’m doing things right or wrong. I know it’s necessary Hustle. You have to expose what your doing, that’s the only way for people to know and participate or buy or whatever. But how much is too much? How little is too little? There are people who don’t see any of my posts unless I get to 20 likes (lol @20). Then there are those who probably unfollow me because they see every post. Hahahaha 😕
I guess I’m just in my feelings. I want people to see what I have to offer the world, so post post post it is Damnit!
I don’t always want to be negative on my blog, but it’s my way to vent. It is what it is…
Holidays are different since my mom moved to Texas. It’s frustrating talking to her on the phone because she sounds depressed all the time. She’s the one who decided to move all the way over there with no family or friends close. Just Her And Jesus 🙄.
No offense to religion, but I just can’t do it. I’ve seen it separate family’s, like mine.
All I hear is “God has a plan”, “God knows everything”, “are you praying”, “are you going to church”.
Now I’m hearing it from my little brother. “We need to walk in forgiveness”, “stop cussing, you’re a Christian”.
I really dislike people telling me I shouldn’t do something because they think they know what the hell I’m supposed to be doing. I get the least support, and I help the most.
If I say I just don’t give a fuck no more, than I’ll be the horrible sister that’s acting childish, but if you only knew what was going on, then you’d get it. I refuse to continue to be lied on and lied to, taken advantage of and repremanded for being who I am. If you don’t like it, I don’t care.
One thing I realized recently is that people will shit on you now while you’re trying to achieve success, people will shit on you later when you actually have success. That’s just the way life is. With that being said, decisions have to be made for your own well being. You can’t help others if you don’t help yourself, but it’s not for you to save the world anyway. Some people need to do some shit for themselves
It’s the holidays so Give, but don’t be taken advantage of…
Happy Thanksgiving
This has been a hard past couple of days. I don’t remember being sick for this long. Especially and not being able to function. Lost 5 lbs in 3 days. Couldn’t eat or drink… I feel like God was trying to get my attention and He did because I felt like I was on my death bed. I’m not ready to die.
I was thinking about what really matters. Hard work is necessary to get what you want, but in a practical way. Also, you can only do what you can do. I can’t be everyone’s WonderWoman. Your number one priority is YOURSELF because if you don’t take care of yourself, how can you help someone else?
Coconut coffee as cream for my espresso had me looking like
#RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I just saw a pic of my father and felt my heart drop. I know I talk shit about my dad, but he’s the one I’ve craved the love from. A daughter always wants to have her father hug and kiss on her and tell her how beautiful she is without feeling weird.
Despite everything, I still love him. The truth is though… I can’t be around him. I love him better from a distance because he hurts me so bad. I’m not capable of having a healthy relationship with someone that is kind one minute and cussing me out and callin me a bitch the next.
So as for right now… There is no relationship. I just dream about my dad taking care of his issues so he can be there when I have kids. If not, oh well. My Health and sanity is more important that satisfying his craving for starting shit. –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
2:00am They just left… Some people got cussed out by me today. Some people don’t understand when someone talks to them softly and I don’t know how to do that when people keep doing the same shit over and over and are expecting different results.
I’m not the most knowledgable person, but I have been through some shit, so I don’t take what I tell you lightly. I want the best for these people, so I won’t tell them to do anything out the way, just do better! One or 2 steps at a time. Quit doing dumb shit and better things will come!
I don’t feel bad for going off like I did because when you bring bull shit to my house, you should expect to be cussed out in love. Thank you and goodnight. –RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I just watched Tony Robbins Nextflix special and realized one of my problems. I’ve never been acknowledged for anything by my family and it gets kinda old fast.
It started a long time ago and it hasn’t stopped. I’ve looked for recognition from people all around me and it hasn’t been that easy to get. I can’t believe I’m still having issues.
I think about all I’ve done for people and family and it just hurts for no one to care. They expect it because I’m the older sister, oldest child, the responsible one, the one that will help, the strong one, the one who will figure it out, the one that tries to keep the peace… The pushover. That shit sucks. But I realized something today. I have to be the best me for me, and in that, I’ll be able to help others. Help isn’t always handouts and pep talks. Sometimes it’s doing and saying nothing at all… RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
You have anyone you cared about just up and leave? Their reasoning doesn’t make since, you can’t help them change their mind because they don’t want to hear anything against their decision. You just want to know why. You just want to tell them that they mean a lot and you wish they wouldn’t go. When they leave, you’re mad at them because you wish they would come back. I don’t know what else to say… #lost
–RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
Reality Of A Preacher's Daughter 