It’s really getting scary these days. I’m looking at a lot people around me experience their parents pass away. Their children are going to grow up without living grandparents. The ones who’s parents haven’t passed, they have illnesses. It’s so sad.
I’ve felt that the only way I can talk to my father is after he reads my book. I feel really strongly about that. It’s just hard as hell to write it. When I write about my life, I relive EVERY detail. It takes me to a dark place. I feel like I have to stay away from everyone. I don’t want to bring anyone into my black hole. It’s damn near depression.
BUT… If something happened to him, and I didn’t finish this book for him to at least attempt to read it… no words…
I have to finish it. With no money and no encouragement. Just the one last hope of my father knowing how I really feel. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter
I just watched Tony Robbins Nextflix special and realized one of my problems. I’ve never been acknowledged for anything by my family and it gets kinda old fast.
It started a long time ago and it hasn’t stopped. I’ve looked for recognition from people all around me and it hasn’t been that easy to get. I can’t believe I’m still having issues.
I think about all I’ve done for people and family and it just hurts for no one to care. They expect it because I’m the older sister, oldest child, the responsible one, the one that will help, the strong one, the one who will figure it out, the one that tries to keep the peace… The pushover. That shit sucks. But I realized something today. I have to be the best me for me, and in that, I’ll be able to help others. Help isn’t always handouts and pep talks. Sometimes it’s doing and saying nothing at all… RealityOfAPreachersDaughter