So uh….

So uh….

I’ve got folk on my case about going to church. My thoughts are exactly what they are and they’re not changing any time soon. I use to be that “churchy” girl. That lasted 5 seconds because I realized it wasn’t me.

I just live. I feel like too many people put too much emphasis on the wrong things… like church. I was raised in the church and I’m not interested. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

I’m both sides of the coin

I’m both sides of the coin

Sometimes I want to draw – Sometimes I want to write – Sometimes I want to sing – Sometimes I want to rap – Sometimes I want to paint graffiti – Sometimes I want to paint on bottles – Sometimes I want to be complex – Sometimes I want to be simple – Sometimes I want to wear stilettos – Sometimes I want to wear Jordan’s – Sometimes I want to put on make up – Sometimes I want to play basketball – Sometimes I want to make bread – Sometimes I want to solve a math problem – Sometimes I feel fat – Sometimes I feel like I look aiight – Sometimes I speak proper – Sometimes I speak slang – Sometimes I want to hide from people – Sometimes I want to chill with my homies – Sometimes I’m compassionate – Sometimes I want to chop people in the damn throat – Sometimes I want to talk – Sometimes I just want to listen – Sometimes I want to help people – Sometimes I want to say “figure it the fuck out like I have to” – Sometimes I want to wear feathers and silver – Sometimes I want to wear diamonds and gold – Sometimes I feel I’m below average – Sometimes I feel like an Alien, so alienate myself is what I do #RealShit -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Hell of a year

Hell of a year

It’s been a hell of a year…

So much shit happened it’s hard to keep up. I feel like I was trying to stay on the right track. With the death of my aunt in the first half of the year and the death of my grandfather at the holidays… My emotions were all over the place.

I want to take charge and make this year a year I can really be proud of. I need to write more in this journal, because it always makes me feel better especially since it’s no one knows who I am. I can say wtf I feel.

I know it’s not easy being you (reader), but it’s not easy being me. My mom is a devout Christian who wants all four of her kids to be holy rollers and my father is a pastor of a church. Me… I’m the rebel, who got lost in being who everyone wanted me to be and decided to find my got damn self again.

C.T. Fletcher is a great inspiration to me. His father was similar my father… a pastor and abusive. Now he’s an international hero and mentor to so many being exactly who he is. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

“Money on my mind”

“Money on my mind”

I hear these success stories about the struggle before the big break… I guess that’s where I am. Working working working. Experiencing and trying to let go of my fears. 

Fearing success, failure, fame, money, poverty, family… this is why people never get shit. I just couldn’t wait any longer. I’ve been taking chances, putting myself out there. I know one day people will see who I am. Until then, I have to grind hard, then grind harder. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Not a damn charity case

Not a damn charity case

I’m not a charity. Don’t treat me as such. I’m an artist just like you. I’m a person just like you. I’m learning just like you. 

So Natural Creativity and Talent… a lot of people get this fucked up. Just because you copied someone else’s work, does not mean you are talented… maybe just skilled at forgery, which makes you a “Fraud”. I’ll come back to this one day. I have plenty to say about this!

Back to what I was saying.

I just don’t think people understand proper communication. I doubt I have a problem with communication because I’m so calculated. I chose the right times to communicate since people get in their feelings so damn quick. I’m like “what the fuck us wrong with YOoUuu?” SMDH

Man… help me God -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter