I assume everyone has someone to talk to about their life and ask for advice or just another point of view. I have God and this blog. 

I’m over being everyone’s trash dump. I’m over being the one who’s called when I’m  needed and the rest of the time no concern about my wellbeing. Why should I give a damn about anyone else and no one else gives a damn about me? No one has any idea what I’ve gone through, but my siblings swear they had it rough. One of them more than the others

The problem with me making a decision to walk away from these people is a baby. It’s not her fault her parents keep making dumb ass choices and then try to recruit my help. At the same time, if I chose to be almost another guardian, where would my life go. I can tell you I will be a bitch. Not a “boss bitch” “I’m in charge bitch”, but a you giving me your responsibility because you don’t want to make adult choices so I’m going to be evil to you type of Bitch. 

The child is never the problem. She has no idea what’s going on. She’s a beautiful baby that I would love having the pleasure of watching her. My issue comes from someone dropping their responsibilities off on me and expecting me to handle and help when I’ve been telling you all along to stop doing dumb shit!

So Reader you get to be my outlet. I get to tell my story and catch my breadth on her. Right now, you’re all I have and I’m thankful for you. 

Sometimes I feel like my life is really out of control. All kinds of stuff happening left and right. Then calm. The crazy again. I’m having one of those crazy moments because someone gave my father my damn number. There is a reason I keep him out of my life. Because at this point, I don’t react well and my focus is my  husband and my business.

 I choose for him not to be in my life because he messes shit up. He instigates, irritates, picks fights, has pity parties, manipulates… And on and on. That’s why for a long time, no one had my number. Because he always suckers someone into doing something he wants. Don’t ask for my number. 

I’m getting to the point where I never wanted to be. Other than my blog, I’ve only shown my manageable calm side. Now I feel like I’m about to show out. 

Family wants your help. They don’t want it. They want it. Don’t want it. Complain you don’t help, but they don’t listen to you. They want you to cater to them like you have to live their lives for them. I’m having a hard enough time trying to live my own damn life, how the he’ll am I gonna live yours too. Grow the fuck up and make some grown up damn decisions. 

Don’t ask me “what should I do?” I give you advice EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME YOU ASK, and you do the GOT DAMN OPPOSITE, BUT WANT ME TO CLEAN UP YOUR FUCKIN MESS. 

Family members didn’t give a half a fuck when I was getting a colonoscopy to see if I had cancer. I wasn’t getting checked on. Instead, people continued to ask me for money and favors. I’m so done with this shit. Lose my damn number IMMEDIATELY!!!!

And my father bet not call my phone telling me what I should be doing again. I just might answer and I just may be disrespectful!

When I talk to my siblings, I ask about my dad. I wonder if he’s changed at all. I wonder after all these years, if he’s finally willing to listen without cussing me out or trying to fight me…

He still hasn’t changed. So I will continue to keep my distance so I can remain sane.               -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter 

I feel like I support everyone around me in some way, even if we don’t see eye to eye. I’ve always done it. It’s the way I am. It was a set up for my future. I believe in the talents I have. I’ve worked really hard to be great at what I do. 

I will be extremely successful one day even with all my faults. I’m not the best person. I don’t do everything right, but I really try. 

So… I will prove everyone wrong. Make them feel like “I should’ve treated her better”. Does this sound selfish? 

I don’t like feeling like I’m nothing, nothing I do is important. Just being overlooked… 

To everyone who feels this way… Prove them all wrong! Are you being your best self? Can you do better? If so, DO IT!! You will thank yourself. I don’t try to take everyone with you when you get to where you want to be!

I’m not sure why I attract people who turn on me. It’s so annoying. People are cool with you, you purchase things from them, you compliment them, you let them borrow stuff that they don’t give back… The next day they ask for something that you cannot give them and you don’t think it’s  problem until they refuse to acknowledge you several times. 

Yep… This is my life. I’ve experienced this so many times. Sometimes I feel that it’s better to be an ass hole from the jump so they won’t get the idea of switching it up on you. 

Another regular experience to add to my book. “Reality Of A Preacher’s Daughter”

Soon I will hear the words, “You’ve changed”. Or maybe not, because people haven’t cared to know me. 

***Side Note***  I get it out on here so I don’t keep it in like I use to

My father would take me to lunch and make sure I remembered it every so often. I knew he’d remind me, but I let him do it so I could feel like he’s been trying my whole life. Just delt with him telling me over and over… 

Now I’ve completely cut him off. 

He called one of my numbers. The number I don’t can easily block him on. He had a new number and I answered the phone! Crap! What a mistake. I didn’t know what to say, and I don’t think he did either. (This was not too long after he cussed me out.) He asked about me going somewhere with him, then he said we could go to lunch and he’d like me to pay. 

He talked about not having a job and for my husband and I to pray for him so he could fight to get it back. I was thinking “Lawd!!! We are not cool! I really don’t care!” 

So he keeps talking and starts with I haven’t seen you blah blah… He was trying to pick a fight, and I said I had to go. “Praise the Lawd, Goodbye!”