It’s getting scary

It’s getting scary

It’s really getting scary these days. I’m looking at a lot people around me experience their parents pass away. Their children are going to grow up without living grandparents. The ones who’s parents haven’t passed, they have illnesses. It’s so sad. 

I’ve felt that the only way I can talk to my father is after he reads my book. I feel really strongly about that. It’s just hard as hell to write it. When I write about my life, I relive EVERY detail. It takes me to a dark place. I feel like I have to stay away from everyone. I don’t want to bring anyone into my black hole. It’s damn near depression. 

BUT…      If something happened to him, and I didn’t finish this book for him to at least attempt to read it… no words…

I have to finish it. With no money and no encouragement. Just the one last hope of my father knowing how I really feel. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Life is good because I’m juking Drama

Life is good because I’m juking Drama

Everyday I’m pushing myself to success. I want to be successful. I HAVE to be successful. There are a few people counting on me, so it makes going to meetings, working out and doing other things I may not feel like or feel comfortable doing easier. 

Sometimes I wonder why it’s taking so long, but I can only put the blame on myself. I haven’t done everything necessary, and a lot of times I really didn’t know what to do. If you just make a move though… then make another move and keep moving, before you know it, you will be asking yourself how you got here. 

All I know is that when want something bad enough, you will do what’s necessary to make it happen.  -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Twinkle Toes

Twinkle Toes

I love to dance. I’ve been dancing since I was in 5th grade when I saw some girls dancing outside at school. It was play time, and I was the new kid. I never realized this new school was the beginning of a new life. So I went home and practiced. I practiced everyday with my little radio turned down really low so my mom wouldn’t here Power 98 and all their “unholy” music. 

I was loving all these sounds that didn’t sound the same. It wasn’t “church music”. How could all this music be corrupting me? I just feel like I’ve discovered something great. People being free to write what they felt to a melody without organs and a choir director… and it made me want to dance, so I did! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Patience and failure

Patience and failure

Just like we can’t live off of one vitamin and have a balanced system, having patience without hustle, drive, desire, wisdom, etc, can mean failure. 

“Be patient, it will come.” – people say

I say, “No the fuck it won’t if you ain’t doing shit”. 

There are too many people “waiting on the Lord” which equals waiting for some gold to fall out the sky or someone to put something in your hands.

Sooooo there are still some people waiting for absolutely nothing and they don’t even know it. Stop waiting and get some shit done please! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

You know what had me scared?

You know what had me scared?

You know what had me scared shitless to try anything? It was Christianity. Maaaaan, it had me feeling like I could never do shit! 

I heard stuff like, “Don’t go into business with unbelievers”, “You’re a Christian”, “You need to go to church to be under a covering” ( wtf does that even mean!!!???), “You need to pray in tongues more”, “You need to stop writing your book, you just need to forgive and be healed of the past”, “The Lord told me you were pregnant, so I made you this blanket”, “The Lord doesn’t want you to step out without him, you will walk right from under his covering”…. etc etc… that’s what my life was, and it’s been hard to get rid of all this shit that was put in my head. -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter